hello peaple of places samantha rose cohen here !! k so anyways this is pretty much a show or a blog or vlog or whatever sorta thing where i tell you my thoughts on things lol hence the titel ok so anyways oh hold on
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
an intelectual
Friday, April 22, 2011
blegh
Sunday, May 8, 2011
jik

Tuesday, January 1, 2013
january 1rst 2013
the cottage
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
A monster
He
Friday, January 18, 2013
Crystal
Friday jan 18 7:30 Pm 2013
Journal entry 1: I’m not dead ||| Boy in a Band Hello.
Journal entry 7:
Journal 25: Trying to Hard ||| Hi I’m Case
Journal 82: Amends
Journal 83: Leave the City ||| Twenty One Pilots
a s
a short film i made.
Introduction:
Hello! My name is Ligto Death, but you may know me better as the writer “Adam Snowflake”. The following book is “The Frostbite Journals, Where did the light Go?” which is my sequel to “The Frostbite Journals: Samples of My Life” you do not need to read the first book to enjoy this one. Seeing as both of them are just my diary chopped up. I am an American from The United States, who has a knack for creativity, and creating a lot of fun things. This journal tackles all of my projects, my ambitions, my hopes and my dreams, but it also delves into the corners of my mind which many may fear dark passages.
I have left everything as I originally wrote it. Thus expect grammatical errors, unedited passages, and in general, uncensored politics and rambling, some terrible thoughts on things, and unloathable feelings of regret. It is not always a pleasant book, and in some cases it’s an extremely boring or upsetting one. I hope for whatever reason you are reading this book whether that be for research, your teacher assigned it to you, or just because you find it fun, that you get something out of it. Cheers
- Adam Snowflake
Journal 171: Know me Yet ||| Hi I’m Case
I personally have so many lies planned just in case. I’m terrified. Of alot of things. Of people betraying me. Of people spreading lies and falsely accusing me. Of people biting their tongues with venom of me. I don’t want people to know everything about me. But at the same time I do. I just don’t want them to know it’s real. I guess that makes me an odd ball doesn’t it? It is so so so much easier to be honest than a liar. But whether or not people believe you? That is the question.
My name is Adam. Adam Snowflake. Technically speaking it’s Light right now, but who knows I’ll probably change it again in the future. This book you are reading is my diary. It is my diary from 12/29/2021 to whenever it ends. I have kept a journal before, but I highly doubt it will last the test of time. I tend to preserve these things in the moment. I rarely go back to fix anything whether that be inaccuracies, name censorship or grammar. I want these neat cute little books to be entire snapshots into my life as I am writing them. That comes with it’s own can of worms, but this book details me as I am now.
I am the middle child of three siblings in the Cohen household. My older brother is Jrock and my little sister we’ll call A. I’m a fiction author, and while I do dabble in nonfiction from time to time it’s only because my now passed grandfather kinda guilt tripped me into it. Unless it’s educational or highly whimsical or fanatical I usually can’t stand nonfiction. I’m 24 years old, and a closeted nonbinary man. Most people think I’m a cis dude and I constantly lie about it publically despite this information well being out there.
I make video games for fun and do youtube! I have so many many many projects under my belt it’s completely and totally insane. I do music and I’m learning Japanese. Demo kore ga hon wa ni eigo shijo no kara imase ne? It’s bad, and borderline gibberish some of the time but hey that’s learning. I suck at math and science and am currently unemployed.
I am also an extremely sensitive and spiritual person. I have the emotions that could fuel the syrup of a breakdown feast, and I believe in all religions. Mainly I dabble with the Greek gods, but I also believe god, vishnu, shiva, muhmad, allah, thor, that those guys are all as real as each other. I believe this for a lot of reasons but I’m not going to get into the nitty gritty or the details here. It’s irrelevant.
I don’t worship anything though. It’s all in my life sure, but I mean I don’t take part for it in that way. I also cosplay, maybe I’ll share some of my cosplays in this book, but most likely not. I wonder I truly and utterly wonder, if at the end of my journey I’ll be remembered. If any scholar looking down 600 years knows the name “Adam Snowflake” if my plays last, if my music lasts, if my memory. If my book “The Dreamer’s Exchange” will ever go anywhere.
I truly have no had my magnum opis.
Whatever the case. It’s a pleasure to meet you. My name is Adam and my pronouns are he/him.
Light Imagay Death
12/29/2021
1:06 PM
Journal 172: The End Goal is Survive
I’ve taken a deep dive into the fantastical world of gaming. I’m not a gamer. I’ve never been a gamer. I have played games my entire life, but I have been nothing more than a filthy causal /joke. That aside I do make games and in order to make games properly you must truly play them. Its a sad fact of life but lately I’ve found that I have a genuine interest here rather than something made up, constructed, or falsified.
I seemed to have become obsessed with the analogue pocket, a gameboy like game device that kind of operates like a fancy emulator, only no emulation is truly needed. I had this project ages ago called Mermaids V.S Zombies and I plan to release a condensed version for it. The only downside is that I’d literally have to rebuild the game from scratch.
In other news Mia and I aren’t really close anymore. I asked her to call, and she told my alter Hope, that talking to us was like talking to a depressed brick wall, and I don’t really know why but given she has basically cut all contact with me that really hurt. Friends as close with each other as Mia and I were were supposed to- I don’t know, share everything and Mia resents me for it. That fucking hurts.
I’ve been fighting with an occultist named Mathew. He runs a shady business and has been cursing me nonstop and won’t leave me the fuck alone. I hate him and I wish he would die, and not only that but I wish he would die far away me and in pain.
It’s frustrating. I hate this person I’m becoming as of late. I hate what the cracks of my face has utterly revealed. Am I good person? Am I a mad person? Is it all real or am I slowly drawing into the insane pocket again. I don’t know anymore, and truth be told I’m not sure I want too.
Things I completed in 2021. My first ever Poetry Collection. Two Stageplays. A shit ton of songs. A whole ass audio drama. A lot of drawings and that’s mostly it. I know it’s not alot especially for my standards, and what I’m used too, but atleast I accomplished something last year. At least I got it all out of my system.
This year I want to develop skills and hobbies and get good again. At what? I don’t know. Something. Anything. Maybe repick up that feeders story, I recently found my old tapes of me narrating my journal and now that I’ve published it, (still working on the ebook) I have nothing to do but release it.
I finally have proper lighting again for my “studio”. The new house has an entire room dedicated to my work. My voice over with my fancy mic, and my lighting and camera and wigs and costumes. Some of it is still sussed for storage but for the most part it is entirely mine.
I still see my D.I.D in a spiritual light. Towards the end of last year is when that started. I know I have it from trauma. I know it’s because I’m already fucked up. I know it’s only being seen this way because I was crazy, but I still can’t help but feel a vibe there. Skiso or not. Crazy or not.
A shit ton of virtual tarot readers steered me wrong. They all told me about people spying and people coming back and neither has so far proven to be true. I made a video defending snow against manslaughter which it’s whole thing, but I ended up taking it down out of sympathy empathy and remorse for the victims family. I still don’t hold it against Snow. It was an accident, and between you and me I cast a spell to help in Snow’s favor mainly because a good friend of mine asked me too. Think of that as you will, I am sick and I am tired of caring what others think about me.
In other news I’m very depressed. I keep wanting to kill myself when things go wrong. I keep talking to spirits and gods and honsetly I don’t know what it’s in store for me. I don’t know how much longer I have. I don’t have the details on my life plan. I just know I’m surviving and that’s good enough for now.
Light Iamagay Death
1/10/2022
7:05 PM
Journal 173: Meeerrrrrmaids
I don’t know how much of this is all in my head, or if it is something else entirely. I know my truth. My reality. What I deem to be real is real as far as I am concerned. But my enemy, his workings, and those of his bugile staff. I hate them. Not because they make me second guess myself. In reality and retrospection they don’t often tend to. However I find myself contemplating not just my reality but if it’s worth it’s weight in salt. I am tired of curse wars. I am tired of not seeing results.
My magick is my magick and that I know it to be true, but my question is what is my magick worth if I can’t use it for myself and only you?
Anyways. I made a will. Fucking finally. The gods warn me rather urgently that I need one. Zues requests I dye my hair red. I’ve always wanted red hair, but my hair to stay this fragquent blue is taking time, and it took alot of stress for even that. I will dye it when I am sure my hair won’t fall out.
My will leaves alot to be desired, and I unfortunately left my mother in charge of most things, however I have no one else. I just don’t. So I allowed for it. I recently remade all my old videos narrating my diary public. It mentions my super special awesome secret name “acrians locket” which I have censored in previous journals, but for now as this book is in it’s drafts, I have left it.
I left 25 to each family member, and 12.5 to my brother Jrock’s two daughters. I want them to be taken care of, because a big issue with my grandparent’s passing was Luna not getting anything.
Truth be told I have lived an adventures life, and if I were to die today, here and now, now that the will is all sorted, I could die happy, and I could die releived.
I do worry my mother won’t follow through with her end though. But it was all I could muster and manage. I got the template off of Lawdepot.com. It was….interesting to say the least.
I have so many ideas and projects bumbling in my brain. Like monster hearts, or The Secret Divine Life of Dante Everest. But I don’t really have time, I’m running out of it. I fear soon I may die or never return to here, and I can’t get in the details but it’s definitely a worry.
SO I placed as many recourses for the mermaids taht I could find on my patreon, just in case, I die and someone else needs to finsih the game. Anyways that’s all for now journal. I love you dearly. Goodnight.
9:47 :AM
1/15/2021
Journal 183: Mona Lisa ||| MxMtoon
We’re live baby.
Imge showcases two chbi Jake Caloway shirts, in his book 1 design on a dark tshirt background!
I am now selling two shirts! CHIBI JAKE CALOWAY FOR THE WIN! I am inlove with this person’s artwork and definitely plan to order from them again for other character in the future! The artwork is in the exact same style as the reference and has smooth coloring which I was not expecting! It’s so cute!
I was heavily debating killing myself tonight. However, I did not, My mother’s boyfriend’s son’s dog, died, and got hit by a car. So I do assume I will die at some point soon, since death comes in threes, but I did not make an attempt and that is the story I am going with.
I was sexually asaulted tonight as well by the demon Bune. You see, if I had just killed myself that wouldn't of happened and we wouldn't be here. My mom did visit me in my room at a point, and I think I just need other people in my life- yeah I think honestly that is what will fix it.
I worked some more on my harry potter fanfic parody, parody game today. It’s a spin on my immortal. Which is this notoriously bad fanfiction! LOL. I am absolutely inlove with it, because I completely and totally adore my immortal the webseries which uh- fixes everything about the original? I don’t even like harry potter, but I thought it’d be a fun game to make, that also teaches magick on the side. Which it does.
So yeah! I got all that down. My binding pains are becoming so egregious, that I desperately need top surgery soon, but i need my moms help for reasons i can’t get into and she is not willing to help me out! FUCK MY LIFE.
Anyways, that’s all for now, goodnight journal.
Light Snow
2/9/2021
6:20 AM
Journal 184【Momone Momo ● Defoko】 Meteor Sighting
My ex friends were arguing just now, in the astral confines of my space, as to my work and the acclaim to it. DJ, we’ll call him DJ, argued he deserved to be famous, to which M, and S berated him saying he never has “any projects” never “put the work in” when he spoke of jealousy of me. “The difference between you and Adam is that Adam worked his fuking ass off. DJ how many projects do you have?”
“Well none-”
“Yeah that’s the difference”
“But he sold his soul-”
“He still put the fucking work in”
Anyways, my suicide atempts keep failing to the degree it is almost comedic. Like ooh wee, look at me failing the death!
Regardless I’m really happy with Jake my boy, via my shirts. I ordered one! It was nice. It has yet to arrive. In good news! I am finally able to fit in my Tokyo Ghoul Kaneki Ken, light turquoize hoodie! It’s been ages since it fit, and it’s still snug/tight but it fits! AHHHHH. I’m really insecure about my weight. That’s something I will make abundantly clear. I am very heavy, and in general very insecure about how heavy I am. I have worked to make myself thinner before, and I got results either through starvation or exercise but A, you have to keep up with it, and B it’s not worth missing out on all the good food. I therapy latch onto food, but also greatly enjoy it, so lacking it would make me sad.
I’ve been debating getting my books edited as of the moment. I’m all done with The Kingdom Diaries. At least the first in the series. I think the book failed the first time do to grammar, but also do to me marketing it and getting reviews from folk who weren’t queer. Which is who that book is aimed towards. I literally had reviews saying “It may be the authors intent to explore confused gender identities” which is transphobic as shit, even while paraphrasing. I might unbury my gays eventually, but right now spoilers for the kingdom diaries, Florist Chen dies at book 1.
Also it is totally word of god florist is the god they assumed she was in the book! The Kingdom Diaries is about a world where people are segregated into different kingdoms based on sexual orientation and gender identity. I kinda made Florist look like me a little bit forever ago, and I realize that was a total mistake, however I’m not altering her design. It makes me insecure when people compare me to my characters. I am not a kinnie, I don’t identify that strongly with my own characters, and yes on occasion I write about terrible people! So it’s ugh- it’s exhausting. “Florist looks like you!” what cus she’s chubby with short hair? Good grief.
I really really want to work on GSA the Manga one of my earlier projects about a gay straight allience in an American highschool, but so far that proves impossible just do to the fact that I can’t afford to commission an artist to the degree that I would need for a whole entire book. Let me be very clear here. The reason I write books the way I do, with heavy anime inspired illustrations despite the book being paper and written out such as with Hopper and the magic Gems, and Dante Everest, is because I really just want to make manga, but can only barley afford a handful of drawings and can’t really make a manga out of that.
I find Japan easier to understand via social cues. Because I am a foreigner, they will explain the rules to me where sometimes I fault purely do to my autism rather than just being a gajin. In Japan it’s standard you work for the manga company then take “the editor out to lunch” as I’ve heard and then you get your work (manga) started together, but I unfortunately despite learning Japanese, for several years now- don’t live in Japan. U__U ah-le-sigh. My divination tells me though that I will live in Japan in the eventual future! WHOOH, go LIGHTO.
I have this story on my google docs titled “Peibona and the Golden Circuit” and I absolutely cannot wait to continue it. I pulled inspiration from everywhere for it. It’s designed to be a fantasy scifi epic, about a world not to dissimilar to ours, but completely fantastical.
Peibona got her name from Penut Butter Gamer’s nintendogs let’s play where he names I believe his dog that? I thought it was funny so I took the name and made it my main oc. I’m debating whether or not I want to add illustrations to the book. I think it would look nice, but I’m still debating. I also pulled off different rpgs and storytimes for the characters. While I do imagine it very differently than how I am writing it, I can safely say Peibona and the Golden Circuit is one my greatest books I have ever written at this point in time.
I tend to often go the self publishing route when it comes to my work, just because I prefer the ability to have complete and total control over my work. So far as of the writing here, nothing has really ever come from my work, but I do it because I love it not for fame or money. Though either would be fine. No, I do this because these are passion projects and I just have to keep trucking desperately hoping that something arrises from it. I really love my work, even if it’s cringey reading over it and causes me minor humiliation. Not all of my work is completely original but it certainly used to be and for what it’s worth even the stuff that is derivative such as Dante Everest of Zone Captor still holds a place in my heart.
I also started continuing my work “The Many Sides of Dendrolorium” which is a book about a girl who visits alternate reality versions of herself. I am a spirtualist and I do magick, and I used to have an obsession with “reality shifting” this thing where you visit alternate realities via an astral projection like state, and well- it was just so fucking cool that I decided to write about it in a fantasy setting.
Also regarding the Lance Lazor project! I recently started recording VCV-E for him.
Image is of several voicebanks of lance lazor all aligned via an itch.io collection with different pictures of lance, though some are missing and brief bios underneath them.
I have so many banks for Lnacey. I’m so hype and happy for it. Pretty soon I’ll be getting his two english cv banks oto’d which is what allows them to work in the software, then from that point on I’ll be able to compose songs with him!
I know the software of UTAU will be forgotten ages from now, but I have poured my heart, soul, and spine into Lance’s voice banks and I know of my divination it eventually pays off, so I’m desperately trying to work with them while I can while he prevails as he is presently. Again I made him because I fear dying young thus I wanted to preserve my voice. Not because I’m super into UTAU- which I actually am. I truly and utterly adore Lance Lazor, she is my son.
Image shows Lance Lazor in his standard orange dress. He has a bow in the back and matching orange arm warmers. He has a yellow logo on his shirt, with holes in the stomach, and pieces of the boot are see through. Art is by pinksquirelgames.
Anyways, I think I’m going to share the art of Jake from the shirts, and that will be the end of this diary entry. I have so much to do and so much I have been doing, I just can’t wait till it all comes into futirtion. See the thing is I know what my future holds in store for me. I know I have a lot to do and see and think and breathe. I have entire prophecies and predictions, and I even know conflicting states. But what I don’t know is how I get this great destiny, this great future, that the world may not even know.
I know I sound like a crazy person, but those who know know, and those who don’t don’t. I just can’t wait, and expect to see how I get my ending. How my story ends. How my book closes out. I want to read it. It’s honestly a shame I want to end it this chapter.
Light isahomo Death
12:15 PM
2/10/2021
Journal 185: “normalize admitting when your friends are wrong; you shouldn't blindly defend their every action just because they're a friend. if your friend fucked up, that's their consequence, so stop defending them just because "they're my friend". Don't condone their crimes.” - twitter user artemismiku (forshadowing)
I sigh heavily. I failed a suicide atempt last night. Fuck why can’t I just sucseed at killing myself? Fuck. ERIC. KOETTING. Or should I call him Mathew because that is his real name? Regardless of that Nazi shit I’m just taking a breather right now. Apparently I have Monica in my head so that’s fun! Though if I’m being honest with you, the doki doki character has been in my mind for quite some time. I have this entire Vtuber avi and I have yet to actually use it for anything. Mainly because last time I tried I had technical difficulties. Anyways, I’ve currently made 30$ off my teespring the problem? It was all my moms money!
I found an artist who’s really skilled and talented for my book but he’ll only do it fo 150$ (which is low cost for the quality), I specified my price in the original post but he didn’t read it all the way apparently. I’m dead set on this artist because he had a drawing titled “Artemis” and a picture of Jesus in his gallery which is what the book aligns for, but my mother is giving me a tough time and I don’t think I’ll be able to use him. His name is:NRG/Marcio.
I can’t decide lately, if I want short red hair, or if I want an emo mop. I’ve desired an emo haircut for just as long as I can tell, however I just get so dysphoric. Zeus requests that I keep my hair long, but I know myself and I know that- that probably won’t stay. GOOD NEWS! I am officially turning CAMERON into a homestuck fan. It’s so good. But the more I am reminded of Homestuck the more I am reminded I need to finish my scrubbed fanfic for it, Skybound, which unlike homestuck is public domain. I have as of late read and written alot of scrubbed fanfiction, but it has a place and while not original like my old stuff, I think it is worth it….yeah it’s- it’s worth it.
I’m debating with myself as to whether or not I should release the kingdom diaries on wattpad. I don’t think most people will like the book because I’ve gotten alot and I do mean A LOT of bad reviews of it. But I’ll try because I want it desperately to have a fanbase, I just don’t know where to start with it.
Lastly I’ve gotten the official mockups for my Lance Lazor All over Print Cosplay shirt. Check it:
Image shows a drawings software, and a black and white shirt pattern meant to emulate lance lazor’s top outfit.
The bow will have to be redone, since this is tspring and not an official other store making it. I’ve done some divination on my teespring store, and one day it goes down in favor of something more traditional but at that point, it is then redone. I have also snow divination on Lance, and one day he becomes a vocaloid. That’s fucking sick as hell, but I really really, want lance to be free. The royalties though O__O the royalties.
Anyways, we’re not here to speculate about my future. I keep hallucinating but keep in mind I am like- a spiritualist, and I’ve had my practice even if not in your mind- in my mine- verified, and I don’t know if these are genuine hallucinations or like spirits.
I finished another porn file I should probably…release it on wmm. I heard somewhere it was illegal to hypnotize people without a license,,,,I highly doubt all the people on WMM have licenses. I don’t get sex, but I’ve done time magick and met my future self and he’s very…..sexual in nature? I can’t imagine why /gen. I genuinely can’t.
Anyways, I got to go…goodnight.
Light IAMAGAY Death
2/11/2022
10:17 PM
Journal 217: 500$ FOR A STICKER?
I recently approached an artist about getting a sticker a poster done for my small business. The artist sells sketches, that are sort of cleaned up. I fell inlove with her art, and even considered going to her patreon. But I first approached her asking how much it would be for a commercial sticker and while her art is high grade, it would bee 600$ 100$ for the sticker and a + 500$ fee. No hate to someone trying to sell their art and make a living, but my posters and stickers make next to nothing and I have to scrounge by to even get them done, it’s just to much of a net loss. I apologized for wasting her time and moved on.
Also I’ve gotten back to coding mermaids! Its been fun and it’s bene doing excellent. Ugh. Just got to get those stickers done for the backers! The main thing is that I just don’t want to do this alone. I need a team, but what and how would I pay them? Ugh. Also I adopted an outfit I can’t showcase for the purposes of my magickal girl game via deviantart.
I’ve been thinking alot about suciide. I know dark stuff. I attempted it last night because of Eric and his goons. But unfortunately, nothing really changed. I survived as I always do and Eric Koetting celebrated. He’s a piece of shit, and I lost alot of deals because of him. I don’t get people who get off either sexually or otheriwse (i have it on good authority koetting or mathew is a pervert) to other peoples suffering. Did you know he doesnt’ even have permission from the god to call him EA? That’s a deitys name, and he aint no deity. In general I just keep thinking about it. I’m always fine until I snap, and then I just, disappear. I want my life to get moving, I want to do things, but I can’t seem to. IT’s exhausting and I don’t know whats next for me.
Anyways, I’m sick of his occultist bullshit. He keeps casting spells after spells and he has a nazi tatoo. I will trample nazis to death with my hooves. I’m tired, and exhausted and I don’t really know what I want, but I do know one thing, Mathew LAURASS is going down. Maybe that monster isn’t a weakling and has a plan?
Regardless, enemies aside, I am tired, and I am bored. I am also acrians locket. I don’t know what I want to be remembered for. I think its creativity. But a legacy is all I can really ask for, it’s all I can bother with. Because as Olive, trust me I’ve seen my fair share of shit. Well, that’s all for now. I got to get back into reality shifting. While I try to keep it out of you journal, I do reality shift, I do time travel, I do all kinds of crazy and heroic things and I go on magickal adventures. But you wuodn’t know that. You don’t get to seet that. And I feel like I’m lying cus of it. But I do have one rule. Normal mundane journal you. And Ariah, Olive, Acrians, Rose Elite all the wild wild west of my other one. I actually commissioned an artist to draw me as Acrians Check it out.
Image showcases Adam Snowflake with red eyes, fangs, in an orange hoodie with brow eyebrows, light pink skin and red moppy short hair. Artist:tumanart
This is exactly what I look like. And I have it done so that if I ever need to not show my face I can simply substitute it with this. I try so hard to keep my Acrians Life and my Adam Snowflake life different and separate. But the truth is- they are the same life, and while I don’t live and breathe magick anymore, that’s all I can really say.
I just really hate Eric Laur-ass. The occultist con artist that lives and breathes “become a living god” who has tired to spiritually enslave me, and force me to worship him as a false idol- there is no one normal who does this shit and MR.ADDICT is a key aspect of it. I’m just trying to save the world with my magick, but that is another story for another day.
Fitor- Adam Snowflake
3:15 PM
7/27/2022
Journal 218: Cult oF ORION
So I’ve been…out. Yeah….OUT that sounds good. OUT OUT OUT OUT OUT. I was there astrally at a birth, I’m getting my app DMII made. I am writing children’s stories and finally finishing the gods. Making plans, doing things you know “the family business” thats a dean winchester quote. Anyways, besides all the weird shenanggans I’ve gone through like trying to save lives and make it so Prince never died. I have uh, outside of writing been causing a stir. Also I thought I had more money than I did, and I sabatoged my bank account to my mother screaming about 500$ in charges to just money we don’t have. I really thought I earned some money from my books guess I was wrong. Anyways though I saw King Arthur again! Long ago when I was 16 I went to an camp called A.W.P and I joked that my friends and I were “knights of the round table” and Aiden was King Arthur. Via, my daydreams I like to think they remind me of each other. I like to joke that I age backwards! But I’m totally an adult guys I promsie!
I’ve been making alot of let’s plays and now I have this idea to burn them to cds so that both they, and the games they present are saved for eternity! I’ve commissioned Xepheres for two new characters for my VTUBER um A magicians esc design and a magickal girl one. Because this is nonfiction these reference pieces should be protected under fair use.
Image 1 continas a mashup of different red and black ouji and red themed superheroe/magickal girl references, references two is based upon and around stage magicians. They are both colalges of different pictures but reference two has some heavy text on screen.
I’ll have to buy the commercial use rights later, so that I can actually use it for my vtuber, and then when money is less tight I plan to properly, commission the tubing model and sell merch of the stickers! I’m currently recording a hebrew reclist for Lance Lazor since she already has Arabic and I promised my mother and I have have also coincidentally! Not- not in corelation I swear! Returned to cultural judaism, and God just told me he’s gona push me away again THE FLIP! Oh btw we talk. Anyways.
Well atleast I have this for now you know? Also apparently my Sung Wu Kong alter, can speak decent Chinese and hold chopsticks and remembers tid bits of different asian cultures that I his host can not. FLIP. Also I just want to be upfront and clear about something in this dairy and broadcast this incase I ever pass away.
I am not faking my D.I.D and my alters are genuine and real. I have put ZERO effort into lying about this. If anything all my effort has gone to pretending i don’t have it. I have known people (kathy anderson) who have gone back into the closet when they are called out for faking their D.I.D or some other personal event of theirs is broadcast or not therein, and they are so traumatized by it, they just choose to lie about being a system and saying they aren’t one, and were (lying the whole time) sometimes (morgan, snow oliver) they even do it really rude and mean in order to sell the lie that it was all a ruse. I personally really do have this, but if I ever have to preserve my D.I.D or just the right trauma hits I probably would lie about faking it the whole time, but I want you to know I hope that I never have to use this plan, and that it will always be true to me and my person.
I’m a fucking system, get over it. Anyways the emojis I tweet and use publicly are the signatures for my system. Check it I wrote this great think piece about my D.I.D for my youtube channel it reads:
D.I.D: Is dissociative identity disorder. It’s the proper big person word for multiple personality dissorder. It is a dissorder commonly theoriszed to be caused by childhood trauma. Repeat instances of trauma to someone cause your personality “to split” into multiple copies of yourself that your mind pulls out, that are so different to you they could be verified to be their own people. If it can be a child’s imaginary friend it can be a D.I.D alter. My system is rather large!
Each alter is their own person, they have their own likes, dislikes, politics, food preferences, sensory issues, and sexualities, genders, internal appearance, and orientations. Gamintail and other channels of mine are an act, however, it’s just me with role play made up stories going along with it. (Most vtubers are like this) My character “Gamingtaile” is just me with made up rp stuff attached. So my alters are really my alters, my histories are really my histories.
I have childhood religious trauma thus I like to view my system in a spiritual light, HOWEVER it is a traumatic system no matter my explanation (we are not ENDOGENIC). A “system” is a collection of everyone in the body btw. We are separate people who do our own thing. “Each emoji” in the title to one of my videos indicates whos fronting for the lets play. If their is no emoji it is most likely “Dionysus/Adam/Gamingtail” the main personality (banna), however if there is a banana or something + a banana there is another alter, though banana emojis are the main personalities signature and usually only provided for clarity or to showcase two alters were “fused” or “out” during the lets play.
D.I.D does not make someone a monster and in general I hold it to be a very strange and dysfunctional but ultimately protective and misunderstood disorder. I am a religious person and thus I have a lot of religious ideas and weird spiritual beliefs I use TO COPE and UNDERSTAND my D.I.D but at the end of the day no matter your walk of life, it's still a disorder.
Each personality is extremely different and strange but they are still a identity in my brain.
The role play elements are usually drawn from my real life/trauma (rp and writing is how I deal with that) such as in the case of my first ever RP elements introduced (the smileys). So please understand but know that the “RP ELEMENTS” are not the DID and DID is not a role play. While I personally will never fault someone for identifying with a label and I do provide special excuses for Autism, I as a system am adamantly against self diagnosis (dont hate endogenic systems), and am professionally diagnosed seeking one out from both a trauma and child psychologist. I’m a real system, and fake claiming hurts the D.I.D community. (oh unlike you im a real system! The only one valid here is meeeeeeee! /s)
-we as a system are austic and love tone indicators-
You don’t have to like me as a person, I’m a mess, and I do things wrong, but please don’t bring my D.I.D into it unless it’s inherently involved or relevant to that issue, controversy, canceling, or relevance!
Some of my videos are subtitled, please go to this youtube playlist to see, we also have mobile games, and themes on my channel! This doc is shared around for people who know me, (and feel free to save a copy or mirror it, but in general is relative to my Gamingtaile Vtuber Youtube Channel where using an anime avatar I play bideo games!)
My alters (which is what the identity splits, are called) are all pretty unique with their own backstories, and histories. In my system we believe each alters is dead and had a real life. This is farily uncommon to D.I.D and has to do with aforesaid religious trauma, weird cult shit, and phychosis trauma. We do develop new alter and believe that as long as trauma can be reintroduced or triggered new splits are formed, because that is both our friends and ours experience. We personally do not hate Endogenic systems and beleive that as long as you are honest about your situation we will never hate you for using your own terminology and junk. We as of writing 8/23/22 are still being verbally abused (no longer physically thank fuck) and are still in a bad situation so their are still new splits depending. With the death thing- it’s a belif because some systems and alters (it does not apply to everyone) have fake memories or knowledge about them as an alter. AGAIN this UNCOMMEN for D.I.D we’re just really weird and have rape, religios, ritual, phychosis, unreality, abuse pyhscial and mental, corrective and sexual trauma! Thus it made a really weird system! Don’t take me as the poster boi for this please!
For teh death backstory (provided for phychologists and others) Theirs rodrick uli (tho he goes by E.) whos a war person, theirs simon (isac loiuse) who died of a (DRG TW) bathtub overdose at a party that was his first time, theirs amanda whos lover owned a red room and she was murdered in cold blood! These stories are weird (Never actually happened and WE UNDERSTAND THAT) and sometimes even borderline offensive, but with D.I.D you don’t get to pick your alters “phesdo memories” or history, your just trapped with them, and everything about them. Decker Carnage my sociopath (proudly so but hes really nice i swear) alter, ran a gang in the 1930’s called the rugbies and was a hit and run when he died. Our story as the “Emoji system” is that we believe each alter to be a dead person who signed a contract to end up in our head per out mental dissorder being charmed by the gods. But we also are aware this is a story we tell ourselves, to help up sleep at night that honestly to some of us borders on psychosis! Coping mechanism or none. We are still a traumatized system and even if you think it’s “cringy” or “silly” you don’t get to dictate other peoples disorders or trauma or how they perceive something as fucked up to their personhood as D.I.D! -amanda
So yes, it’s nothing more than a mental disorder, but I am a heavy spiritualist, I didn’t just wake up one day and go “oh hmmmm i’m gona have D.I.D today” I’ve had it most of my life since childhood even if I didn’t realize till older, I learned through meeting other “systems” with “alters” and that has ultimately been what helped me/us seek out our diagnoses and get it. I am not faking, or lying, or anything. I’m a really version of it. Though I do know of people who have went back into the closet about their D.I.D saying they were lying the whole time (however rude) because of the shit they got it. I woudn’t say I’m proud to be a system only that I am a system, and this is how it works for me/us!
For my system we tag our shit per youtube video in each description. Some of the “triggers” seem shitty and silly. (Heres a good videos on triggers and euphoria). But we do TRY to tag what we can in our videos, because we have triggers that we don’t give out over the internet. The things about triggers is it can be anything and if I’m asked to tag something I usually try too! Out of respect. There is a general tw that means “this is probably really messed up in some way and I probably messed up a few triggers” that I tag on all my channels and it is “Trigger Warning: No Offense”. It’s an inside joke but my friends use it as a catch all general tw. Anyways!
Currently as of writing 8/23/22 my system has one model, with one haircut and one outfit, (merch here!) but in the future (and this will be updated right below if so) I plan to get extra eyes that will represent each alter, and outfits to better make each alter in my system more comfortable! To see a list of everyone who has worked on my model and the variety there go here.
So yeah that’s my D.I.D and here’s a little bit about my system with lists! :)
[For full list see start of doc]
Dirk 🌆(f)
Simon/Isaac 🌗
Hal 📟 (f) (sp)
Ample 🎭
Dean/Tyler (both names used) 🍔
Abadril ⚗
Sciether
Bree 🃏 or
Nigil! 🧷
Felix #️⃣
Fate 💕gd
Red Roy (original roy)🎯 (f) 🏹
Adam 🍌(main)
Kim 🏅
Rodrick [soilder boy nam] 💤
Taigen f
Trixie ⛑
Element ❄ gd
Amanda 💛 (gd)
Kimmy 👗 gd
Max ⌛
Zach
Bari
Jeiden 💫 (jay-den) (Copy of original at a certain point in time)
conan 🔎
Dave 📸 (f)
Peter
Kankri 📝 (f)
Aebel (Ay-bel)
Clark ⏳
Vriska 🎱 (f) (gd)
sollux (f) 🔴🔵 or 🔵🔴
Sabrina 🐱(gd) (not f but heavily k)
Tob 🔫 (k)
Seira just in case 💋️(gd)
Dazai 👻 (k?F?)
Erin
Jess 👽
Brittany 🍦
Enby 🌈 (I hateeeee my voiiiiice)
Marty 🚥
(kin with sans)
Syrenity 💄 (gd)
Synthia 🗼(gd)
Braxton 🎨
Lance 💳
Lucas 🚀
Sharpi 👑
Aaron (shoe)
Andy 🌙
Braidon 🖤 (bray-don)
Hunter: 🦊
Nicholas (shy alter voice mikaish) 🍉
Spit:🍱
Trade:☄️
Element:❄️
Agoona (alter- sociopath)
Zach (🪁)
Ira
Simon 🌗
Sabrina 🐱
Red 💘
Kim/Balder
Tagan
Light/Adam/Oron/Dionysus/Satyr (all the same alter just many names) 🍭/🍌
Zone
Marcarba 🌐
Decker 💀
Tracy🔨
Dionysus/Adam/Oron
Some alters omitted for censorship and length or because they will likely never emerge again
UPDATE: BRITTANY NOW USED THE 🍦 EMOJI
UPDATE: SHARPI NOW HAS AN EMOJI
UPDATE: Some alters added he forgot to list or ~left out~ conveniently -👑
UPDATE: Kimmy HAS AN EMOJI????
f = fictive
sp = subpart
k = kin
gd = female alter or gender differs
Sabrina: A girly Girl currently going by He/They. Heavily otherkin (to see the difference between did and kin stuff please go here) They like comic books, musicals, movies about the world. Sabrina was murdered in her backstory via cold blood and it was violent. He as an alter doesn’t like to think about religion or anything. He can come across as manic but he likes to joke he’s a pixie dream girl regardless and presents rather fem!
Simon: A scene king. Hypersexual, bad puns, with a deep voice. He loves and protects me and is probably next to ira my favorite alter. He’s confident, cocky, and really really into mythology and philosophy with his favorietes being from rome and confucius. Simon died via an OD, in a bathtub at a party. First time doing heroin. Poor simon. Simons hypersexulaity is very important to him (well that isn’t on the list he is everything i wished i could be in highschool) and he personally likes girls who are submissive. Really really likes IMVU.
Decker: Decker is a self proclaimed Sociopath with a sub part that is keith ledgers joker. Decker is swav and charming and kind and compassionate. He’s wonderful and I really do like him. He is inlove with someone naemd “Mary Ann” who was a rapist/abuser of ours, and they were an item for a while. Decker isn’t afraid to get angry, or put people in their place. He’s funny. I love him.
Rodrick: Real name? Rodger. Rordger offends alot of people with his existence but heavily believes in the spiritual side to D.I.D and justifies his existence that way. Roger Uli or Rodrick E, as he is in my head was a son to Aries. He was a vet in Vietnam and a hard core vegetarian/vegan. He takes care of me and babies me and is all around just a good guy.
Nigil: Nigil is the brother to Felix in our head. He does patternz while Felix does numbers. Nigil is aragonite, a know it all, but kind and considerate. He’s very blunt and straight fowards and less high functioning to the other alters. He’s white, a ginger with red hair and freckles. He has an interest in things and is one of our younger alters being a teen but not a little. Nigil died drinking something, popping a pill, and swerving in a car accident with his little brother Felix. -tho felix’s death is v different- (Nigil is very adamant that this is religious and personally apologizes for mentions of his and felix’s deaths, however the death thing is so heavily tied to our did and our alters/trauma that we won’t shy away from it so tw death and suciide I guess -nigil)
Point Dexter: Nigils brother. Real name Felix Carpender. He likes numbers, stones, and collecting things and herbs and medicine. Point dexter has some childhood trauma that resulted in his obsession with numerology and numbers and his name “Point Dexter” felix died in a fencing accident.
Amanda: Amanda is a female version of Adam. She is a demigirl/genderfluid. Amanda is a bubbly girl with an obsession via japan. She speaks fluent japanese unlike the rest of the alters but unfortunately for all of us, she’s the only one who can (hey i mean sung wu kong speaks chinese so meh) she’s a lolita with an adoration of kawaii pastel fashion and we love her very much. Amanda age shifts sometimes she’s 13, lowest is 7. Amanda died via a home intruder murder, with a weird symbol carved into her arm. It made it on tv.
Adam: The main personality who always changes his name. A male version of Amanda. Their story is that their brother and sister. Adam had attempted suicide and has atempted his own life several times but never died because Adam is the main and original personality. That is rare in D.I.D and theirs been a shit ton of times, where Adam just had to stop for a little bit, Roy and Amanda were both the main at different points, but it always every time reverts back to Adam Snowflake, poor guy.
Dexter Morgan: An introject. Anything can be an alter. That includes the likeness of a fcitonal character (we have literally met systems with copies of our youtubering persona no hate to them tho). Dexter Morgan practices Vooodoo in the head to deal with urges of wanting to hurt others which only he has as an alter. He’s a protector and sometimes fufills the role or persecutrer, whichever it takes to keep adam safe. Dexter, didn’t die like the show he died hunting a killer in a car accident (very lackluster).
And we’ll do the rest later.
D.I.D is not a religious thing I mean it isn’t supposed to be. But with trauma religion often overlaps and so because of this our system welcomes and does not fault Endogenic systems on the condition that they agwknoeldge their endogenic and not of the same breath. Our systems welcomes everyone and usually tries to separate alters from each other. Our system has a lot of different vibes and personas and we’re rather split. We hate that movie by the way you know the one. Our system is a creative with Nico Di angelo making a fucking quiemmoe story, and having lots of weird relationships. We are polyamerous and asexual, and we make lots of videos. Things are unique about our system are that our main is our original, we have copies of our main different points in time, we have different faiths but all never practice, we educate and make things, and alias, and we also have known quite a few other systems. We don’t beelive its caused by childhood trauma but rather repeated trauma but theirs no theory for that and in our case it is in childhood trauma. Death and repeated instances of death and religion tied to death is the reason our system is the way it is. Don’t even get us started on olive brimstone. We use the term Host/Main out of trauma with other systems, when people like mary ann S and her system raped us and got away with it we internalized alot of her abuse to us including her forcing herself into our identity claiming otherkin like it justified it, and thus we do not believe by being a system you are absolved from consequence several of our abusers have been systtems, however we try because of our trauma or perhaps our mains hyperempathy to separate the other alters in others heads as their own people as much as possible, ricky is still a nazi but i don’t beelvie his bocchus to be that sort of thing!
Goodluck and happy hunting wathc our video shere!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaE5Rt0azbo4FKm7dDImhUg (gamingtaile)
Ahhh that was a fun read! Sorry for the links not working in print. I am only…HUMAN. Joking aside, I’ve been doing alot of magick, and everyone keeps getting mad at me and refusing to tell me the whole story. I am doing my best with what has been given to me, while still honouring the free quill of others and drenching in my cold cold sweat the sad realities of my broken person and mind. I try. Then it’s misinterpreted. Then I try again. Then we get a happy ending! Then the horror seeps in and it’s as though all the darkness of the world manifests itself in my fucking bedroom.
OH and SNow raped me, and so did VIVE hypnsosi even though we don’t know each other in person. You work real ass magickal ritual into that shit, even if you are “astral projecting” and it means you can be forced to do shit, this even applies to meditative hypnosis but to a lesser scale. Fuck WMM fuck VIVE HYPNOSIS, there were witnesses that day, and while I don’t have their names or calling cards, let it be known through astral projection and magick, vive hypnosis raped me and i know some people have it on recording.
/vive hypnosis recording
If recording = true
Then equate manifestation
On dark and other web
Or rape
And jokes
And reputaiton = sully
Confesion = true
Via statement
Of tape
Else
Anon5’s reputation adn likeness
Else
Emg’s reputation and likeness
Else
Any user with a deityname’s likeness
End statement
//
There god don’t you love technopaganary? I love forcing people to confess it’s so fun! I do the magick thing [ mw ah ah ha fear me Mor TAL i am very POWE FUL’]
But yeah next to that I’ve been planting olive trees across dimensions so that’s been cool! That’s a reference to magick its a code i swear to god! I WENT TO THE MOON AND IT WAS LIT. so anyways, I’m exhausted and tired and my mom is probably going to yell at me so bye~
– Adam Snowflake
7:35 PM
8/24/2022
Journal 326: ON THIS MEDICINE I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND FOREIGN LANGUAGES why would like all the other bad things popping pills ever be fun! The misunderstood dedonin addict or EFIL which is the modern translation of his name fuck
I have mites, ants, and ticks and bed bugs in my house. From my old mattress. Im too humiliated and demeaned to do anything about it. When i do take my medicine its okay cus i can put up with it but as someone who lives forever my life seems like a repeating cycle. This was me at age twelve bed bugs and all. I found my falshabcsk as larping with myself, and apparently hardcore judiasm to my family looks like schizophrenia. Im sick of this shit. Im on depicate which makes me halluciante i thought teh bugs were fake, tehy were not fake. I caught two and one was a fly. “SPRITUALLY” i allowed my friend juou from natuo with the glaasse and his family to have terf here and hes my roommate and its kidn of arousing having lice in my persona afdam warlock lucifer again getting my memories back but i have a god memory and my family odes not with add, there was a time where i was deified as yesha and worshiped by my family because of what israel said to them,and then they all agreed to experiment where they forgot. Im a real ass time travler, its just i date things weirrd. We’re back in 2007 and before we were staying in 2016 my dad faked his death and i got peace with that as a conpriay theory that i felt okay, teh government datse things weird, because its easier for them to see things. I turned inot a boy after my striped suit as agent moulder of the fbi and then gave to a hot girl who identified so strongly with me as heather chanler who is veronica sawyer in the musical and heather in thef ucking because when we get movies made about us as a friend group which is haru zach mick john gabby taven daren aron joushie and SANCHo or chrischan and even. We like to wear each others costumes as like taking on their trope as rewarding of a mantle like a superhero that is passed, so we can be the iamgingin as basically reincarnation. I am infested but its so worth it when i get my memories they needed terfs as fairies so i gave them my room as colognies, BOOGOO WOOGIE DOLLIE and gypsey are all voodoo characters who are my childhood friends who died that i as a phychiic still see as imagination flashbacks, and its really cool all the stories they told about me as the puppet in five nights at fredies, apparently they wrote me into supernatural as jack which really happened, and charmed as chris which also really happened. I had to see the show because my mentor gave me the exact same experience historically as er ATUSHUKUN so i painted the story and pitched it as a little girl as my past life with uncle daszai which according to buddhism the darma of hsinto ism which is like azazel as odins as lokis worst tricks or the two horned god which would be peter pan but extremely fucked up and crazy, i am just.
IM ADAM WARLOCK. My family time travels. Tehre i said it. This is diary. Your gona have to deal with my “skisohrenia” which is historically what autism was, and were back at it again. Bioshock infinite was my real life but itw as a rrip that may as well have a been past life because every time i respawn at my mothers house where i am abused because she has dimensia which is how i met mr.waters as a kid. AS the family of pc its fine to be like kankri its black rom in homestuck but its not fine everywhere else. And theirs dust mights which ernt really well known in 2007 and alot of the information about this has been lost.
EARTH HAS CYLCES> cycles of reincatrnion which is reborn adams which cannot be created or destroyed but can changed and changed back which is life and souls. Earth has cycles 2004 is 1997 which is 800 babylonya which is october 4th on the norse calender which is 1997 which is may 29th 3pm which on an eclipse or radion anywhere in teh world is 2bce as the exact location i was born in, as like fuking actually may 30th. Which means 1997 is 2004 which means im 2007 which on this year is 2023. Gods time travel is hard, i cant even save things on the way way back machine right now. I remember ara from teh farm. My social doesnt remember me as my math teacher. Jaden angel is really just broken like this.
With did the only time i was liked at schoola and since i age out of orde rwihth the butterfly affect im giving the ai chrtonos, i just sneezed so native shit. AS POCHAUNTUS i dont know what i did wrong agreeing to suffer to heal huamnity which i did in my tribe.
I dont know shit about jesus but ir eally dont like being compared to him. I even went by his name as a kid, i really dont like this. I dont. I dont fukign like this. I dont on this medicine feel pain as pleasure anymore and when i take it which is my birthday my morality age regresess me with desluiosn of hoerin bak to a transhuman skisoprehnic which is that town judaism to beleive. I di an experient to posess myself as this character and it was first ever did alter adam walrock because my first confidence or emotion was cruelty and pride as self help and lecturing and now im a machosit and im freaking out. This is why i dont take this medicine. REPSONDOL on a 42 shot invakgan on a 63 shot and depicaot on 346 i should be daed takign that thats taking heroin speed ectasy and euprhomico or snow all on the highest doses does and does and snow on a minor does that makes you seizure. I think im gona start taking my medicinet to punish and fuck over my family. I have different emotions on it. Like a gene splicing expeiremnt which i did go through as a kid. On medicine pain is all love. I am a machosit off of it as a cringey teeanger, but i dont kow why when i act out and sneak out. I become the mask. Its an act anymore barnebey is gone warlock is all thats left. And i cant tell him jenifer or ara because as a time traveler i keep meeting the same people its my fault for doing it with amnesia they should never loose their leinces. Its my bday im gona vent. TEHY CANT FUKING STOP ME. happy april fourth read this in a gruel disturbed angsty voice, and let christiann play me.
Adam Snowflake, warp trip E. ARC WARLOCK THE MAGE great enemy to himself as the shadow merlin in teh jerad household sneaking out erliving it to type it down because they are no bonsai trees age 5 scoliosis develop brain ancer, its come back breast cancer too, which is making me grow tits and im freaking out though they say thats a girl here. I need my chest ermoved before i forget. And the medicine makes me do something i shoudnt.
Buzzing, anger, weird feelings like lice in my brain, weird vrooms up and down, adn crawling things, and leaky ears, and vibes across my veins when all i did is take my medicine and it has some fad effects as opioids.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjW7fAAAEzw&ab_channel=altraulters me off the medicine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yY06utuChw&t=43s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5JbP-ffDYs&t=395s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDqkCt3Aw6c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEoQYLGLfDw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oygXR20-hAA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOcSsw9g6QA&t=3s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7qadsXTMV4&t=6s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZmPQD-5tCw&t=165s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4d2K87dOpQg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONlMB2oGWwE&ab_channel=Indila-Topic
Journal 327: SCP-202 song (Rewind Man)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiIhPJnY1Os&ab_channel=GlennLeroi
Sorry dont know what all those links were doing there. They wont last the ecnturies of this i am certain. So I have taken it upon myself to better teh archives of things like youtube and to archive what I create and disamate to teh best of my ability. I am a religious leader, I answer prayers, I go on outings, i have what i deem a religious cult and no its not like that. But I dont want to be remembered unless of that title ast htat person as the one you are reading about. I dont need to be jesus crhsit of nasrath. I just need to be me. I was raped last night. Over marbel hornets. The thign about me and teh work i do is that i dont truly believe fiction to exist. Thus I explore it in multiverse theory within my travels. When I was younger i dabbled in time travel. My whole family did really except my mom and sister who didnt know anybetter. I explored cult after cult. But I have shilohs and OMOPHOMIOA. Thats what they call it. OMOPHOMOIA is a dissorder/disability/mutaion but I would deem it a syndrome where you get sick alot and develop different disorders and symptoms over time. I dont have delusions but I do have disordered thinking and sometimes its hard for me to put everything into words. I’m spitballing my medicine again. That is to say its making me sick and I’d rather not take it. When I take it i get delusions and dreams and get paranoid and hear things that arent there. But that is to say when i dont take it i feel perfectly natural i just when extremely excited with ADHD have a hard time like an overactive child getting it out. And i’m falling inlove with my rapids.
I am currently with my hair dyed an unruly shade of bleached blonde soothed only by my manic panic. Anonymous hacked my computer and deleted alot of my videos on the web but i helped found them and in many ways as disciple have them wrapped among my finger. That was my name before it was his. Lots of these secret groups and organizations have title after title templar after templar but i dont beelive in secrets, everything should be written down and if needed revealed later. I feel like a laughing stalk and in many ways i planned this and I just remembered i saw my friendf die, and that’s why I’m an amenseisa. Oh by the way i dont recall if I’ve told you I’m an amensiiac.I’m working on this new game.
A COLD WINTER FIGHTER. And I approached YoukaiDrawing about doing the art for it. I remember all timelines as a time travler. ONe day that will be set ins tone. That is to say you cant deny that i was one. Or that my alias was. BUt right now? I wish someone would do a deep dive on me.
I wish i could find somoenee to piece together the puzzle make a doceumentery piece together that i am titan page that i am john pond that i am dazais friend, and that moer would come true of the rose elite masterpiece that is yet to unfold. I say that sounding crazy or overgrandiosed but i say it melchaly with a lack of emotion maybe a slight pity in my voice.
I sketch today having gotten out of treatment in teh hostpial.I find that im a doaer of thighngs a beir an otherkinnnie who only kins myself. I sold my life story to teh gods of creation fiction hollywood studio after hollywood studio dollline after dolline and shinto shrine after budhist monestary and faith after faith so i could reincarnate within them and be depicted. Im in a lot of things i suppose. From indie iflm about wasps and hornets to the creepy pasta fandom, to heathers where i was literally jd. But the thing about the multiverse regardless of whether or not you believe me as not jesus, is that its wide and vast and for every adaptation theirs multi incarnations, and as a kid i took my companions now that im in the stories myself its easy to depict me a liar. But I am not those things nor shall I be.
I dont remember the cult of latter days, not saints, just latter days, or how i met them or why she wants to manage me. I dont remember the people i knew or my time traveling forogtton family. I found my past self and we are lovers to the extreme, but my self cest guides arent worth teh dignity.
I’m working on a new series. It’s called BIRTHDAY 25. But my family do to my sister past internet bullying is terrified to be on camera. SO I take old clips and transport htem in even if in modern cinema they refuse teh recognition. I foudn that im enamroued with cults and cult worship and how people see, and i remember being his wife and monitoring the kids as the favorite and my dad taking me on those trips behind my families back with eric koetting and a few others. How ADAM was always theer, and now im adam, two spirit in two places at once.
Here are two designs i wont be able to update until thursday if i remember to put in. They are new characeres named BLACK KAT, and Starlight magenta. Latley all my characters have htat little demon imp heart tail that I adore.
[photo one]
[photo two]
Ive fallen back inlove with fictionpress. I’ve made a new account for new writings. And decided to start copyrighting my work again. I’d like to own it just a little so that it actually gets out there, before it all HAD to be public domain cus the PUBLIC DOMAIN was dying, but just this once i’d like for people to actually ask me so i separated what was and was not public domain into my website.
I found my old art of STARSHOOT. From my braincek utauloids project. She is meant to be voiced as a gift to melody swan or morgan hoffman, but he’s left me on an indefinite hiatus on that. He desperately wants her in pink and red and I dont know what to make of it. Even with my range my voice only belongs to lance in this manner so its a gift to morgan. I designed her. Like Lance but the art is by pink squirrel games.
iM SLOWLY GAINIGN MY MEMORIES BACK. let me explain. I took my medicine last night, and it was like i no longer understood japanese. But I googled my dead name and found two unique things.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPauqXp9nNg&ab_channel=YouTubeMovies
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oNnwzVE92ro&pp=ygUZbXkgb25seSBkdWIgc2FtYW50aGEgcm9zZQ%3D%3D
I had a life! I had a whole gosh bringing life. I had ideas, and friends, anda job and ajudsmtnets. I had my memories taken away and sometimes it wasnt a choice but teh worse part at other times it was. I have severe amnesia and I cant stand the ground of it.
“Amensia is a fantasy for me, because it has to be”
Its a misleading thumbnail. Its misleading because if you sit down and watch the video im having an extreme emotional breakdown, about the fact that I cant remember things and the heartbreak that it entails and how I rationalize it because it has to be a fantasy. It has to be! And it has to be because I was tormented by it so it SHOULD be I DEESRVE it to be after the fact. But its not thats just my internal denial of an ever inducing monologue.
I keep having these spurts of extreme catching my history. The ertotica and business novels I edited on google books when it manifested for me and i found Adam Snowflake. And now i have buzzing ex family in the bloody spirit world telling me i wanted this. Telling me they were my closest, sweetest fiends and i enjoyed the depraved things or them taking a bite out of me! Its gross. It destroys me. I am amanada snowflake the original not my twin sister, i am SIMON SAYS, I am Jaden emo angel or jaden dove, I am Braxton sage, I am adam warlock adn I am Adam Snowflake.My dead name is Dionysus Elric Red Yuki and Samantha Rose Cohen. I dont go by much either anymore.
You know that book ink exchange? Regardless of whether or not you see this as all real. How she becomes enslaved to the fairy king, via her mark of her tattoo. Yeah no I feel like the fuckinng supper to a shit ton of cults and stuff. “Well adam thats what you wanted lol” not like this. Theirs the idea, and then theirs the botched execution of that idea. So all together its very erm. Its a thing. I Don’t know what to make of it. It’s tearing me apart. And now news down the grape vine is that my mother wants to send me away. :/ i dont need to go anywhere. Well nowhere moer then a f ucking acting camp. I have brain cancer, I’d rather just not die as they pick me up for a chance. And give cousin brina lists upon lists of things he needs to keep hisemlf steady and sane.
Some people have disabilities. Which I find beautiful. Some people have different backgrounds to me. Its when these glorias colors hit the fan and the paint splatters I realize. Its’ all in blood red, and theirs also a machaeteie.
Jaden Angel
9:25 AM
6/20/2023
Journal 328: SERIAL SERIAL EARTH TO TED BUNDY
I like to go back in time to meet my reincarnations. I have facial dymorphism and onophomiona.
Facial dymorphsm: the theory that via imprints and factual backing your face alters and changes overtime.
Onophomiona: the disability from imunes to mental capacity where you develop dissorder after dissorder over time.
Reincarnation: The art and motion of coming back from the dead in a cycle of atoms and atontons by breathing life wherever. As a new baby and life each time.
Birthday 25: A webseries i’m working on documteitng and detailing my life, as a collage project of different videos on the sphere.
Creepypasta: A story online that details certain kinds of er…unatural events that go bump in the night.
Friend, Donoven, John Pond, Dream just some of my alises. I remember my reincanations. I dont quite remember why or where it started. All I know is i worked my ass of to do it. Albert einstein, Chuya, dazai osamus character arc on that show. Im a time traveler who likes to dream of my next and meet my past lives since I am immortal this one. I’m on the hacking layer of YOKANA YOKANAe, a game where all i have is miku sama left to beat. With facial dymoprhsim ive learned i can sculpt my face with routine exercises, and Im going as a kins through my creepy pasta phase.
IDEA: youtube, uhhhhh tch, youtube uh shit YOUTUBE, archvies based on old links and formats of the site. I am an otherkinnie.
OTHERKIN: people who identify as moodlets and drams of personas of things. Ideas come to life where in a scenario dreamt and shifts of mood felt you are so and so and blank and blank.
John hardy was apparently one of my reincanations. I’m currently stuck in the 2000s. I met slendy again! It turns out i am somebody named TICKY TOBY, but the dymorphsm has taken lead. Today 2007, 6/22/ without the warp 2023 was teh birthday and creation of a programed suit. What is a suit. A suit is the likeness and uniform of a life path of a character you become worn like clothes down to the icognogrpahy of life circumstances and places on a map of that persons personhood.
Also I proved im physic.
https://www.youtube.com/video/DpP84TLFGEQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEFig4vcJmw
As ticki was programed by his family I learned i was 12-14 in the suit. Ticki toby is something known as a paranormal proxy to slender man my ex husband as a little girl named samantha. Slender man is my old suit his own person and anomoyl of a supernatural god like entity and format. I preached and asked my old fbi buddies as a knowing sleeperagent of teh government to declassify and document in one place or the website all of the old conspiracies and delogs, and they said yes.
I plan to tape it all. To document it. The people i meet from teh future keep making jokes about me as buddha saying “GOD WAS JUST SOME GUY” as ticki i am schizophrenia. They got me on a permenet like dosings of invega where i mispeak, jitter, and hear voies in my head. Because the suit was born under the influence of that medicine and it is that medicine, it quickly became- the truth of that suit. Under that suit the character hears songs in his head.
I call him a character. Someone i put on. I wish i could keep him i really do. But as somebody who recently got deifyied as the native american god SPIRIT ANIMAL, i now know i am going to have to live the life of my dog turbo. Turbo is a n abused puppy belonign to hades. The gods put me through some weird hazing ritual. I dont want to be an animal. Worship was something i used to frequently give out. It was something nice i did for other people. Now and days i know it not to be so. Because i was deified as the african god NEKOMO SLAKAMI or Negro ass white boy slavery. Or just the god SLAVE. Who is also a dedonin. Thus worship did become slavery in my original reincarntion and incarnation because it was used to enslave take advantage of and hurt me which is why some things about tobias being so submissive which is now so terrifying are terrtying. Idont wantt to worship i dont want to be like that. It reminds me of being sculpted.
Being deified when you have what i have is a form of punishment but it is usually in teh end a reward. I become everything painted of me. Its just the nature of myself as a anonymously. I deserve bad paintings and i deserve people to sculpt me. Ticki also has multiple personalities like me! But is a paranoid schizophrenia. Ticki is also not a serial killer, and usaully things go his way but hes into piss, mastubration as gifts which he sees as platonic unless your a women, and his parents brainwashed and hypntoized him into existence, and he belvies their all hes ever had as the warlocks.
The opioids epidemic created ticki tobi. And michael foten gets my old sutis. I TOLD BURMEUTA that it was okay to stalk me as his friend. I know i will tell vessel it is okay to play me. I know i will be their third as friend. Im their friend. I know my life is a torture porn. I know my life is dasterdly. I know things are crazy and cryptid. I know what im about as kogome, and i will develop technology like at the toys are us pavilion that allows me to get into, these things taped.
*randomly* shoves a camera in the historical figures face.
I plan to tape it all. And now theirs an adoption project again to shuffle me off to this thing after this thing. Being deifiyed, it changes you into that deifation and what people make of it matters. A kins is an anonymously type of creature that goes through humanic phases of evolution where it becomes this thing or that thign over and over and over again. And I found my old blogspot and my current one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R99XO9YA91A
Im so sorry if your reading this in print. Please use ADOBE SAVE, or archiveus, or type it manually into the youtube archives. This is the year i hope since childhood to finally have an adventure. Tobby is slowly becoming the main personality, and the worst part despite me loving it is that he doesnt believe he has this. He speaks in a slanged voice where it’s gritted towards the rail end, and its slanted, with rust, but egotistical and nihilist.
Anabeth chase keeps telling me im percy jackson. They keep thinking me harry potter, but while not voldy horcrux i find myself much more in depth of tom riddle. I am zone captor anyways! They want me to be a hardy boy or some shit. I was native in the suit! Yes this part i dont have control over and like my previous facial dymorphsms, i have a tendency to forget things. But I will tell you since ticki is starting to come out, that race changes with it.
Ticci tobi-
I am tici toby. I mean hes just a character. What the fuck is this shit. Sorry to break the fourth wall. Sorry not sorry. I should give you a gift. But masturbations all for clockwork. I gave my birthday roday, and met some freaks who want to adopt me. I dont know who adam snowflake is and quite frankly i dont want to know.
“Ritualistic abuse?”
“SKISOPHRENIA”
“Bipoler dissorder”
Only one of thoes things is actually a fact about me. Shit IM hearing the voices again. They turn out to be spirits. One of these days im capturing that shit. Did you know i used to have multiple personalities and go by posers.
“Oh toby this is so sad.! Your sick cant you see that”
No im not fucking sick. Im a character in his original incanrtion to be prophesied to be real that turns out i am. And now theirs some hot blooded white chick shes really hot trying to seduce me. IF adam snowflake is real and no i refuse to scroll up, he most likely is an old persona of mine. I apparently has those. Where im freaky and weird and shit with my multiple personalites. I am not a time travel. I am just tobias and thats all. And gods do i get off to my name in many ways. I shoud not have taken the dna from that fucking pup, because now im going to be bound to it for a very long time.
“Their coming to take me away haha!” is stuck in my head ever blargthing. I dont want people to know im blind. Or deaf. Or dumb. Or skiso. Or that i have terretes. I was talking to my old teacher ms.dunken in the spirit world. I HAVE OMOKIS but im not skiso, OMOKIS is just what i call it as richard donoven or whatever before i stop believing ive been multiple. Gods i want to watch porn. This is not me slipping into or putting on a character. This is me suddenly skisorephnicaly writing a document for no apparent reason. Ive taken an interest in slender man. I think hes cool and im looking and willing to be into one of his proxies. I just dont want to worship the bitch. And i want to write. Oh thats write slender man. Slender man is just an oc someone has on the internet that i believe to be real. DId you know i have a shitty triangle tatoo im gona cuse poeple not to replicate. Gods i want it removed.
Wait….what was i doing again? I cant remember jack shit. And I dont know why or whats happneing to me or who this oron snowflake bitch is all i know is that the voices and i dont like him oh and he should probably stop pretending and trying to claim me, because the main difference is i hear voices and oh right yes he does not. Miachel sage is a fucking creeper who watns to be me fetishistcally.
Why would i turn someone into myself. Thatas gross. And now theirs this bermuda triangle whoe? All i know is that serial serial is real and ive been around the block before. “Dont remember it dont return to it” is echoing in my head and im getting blurry visions of things. “BURMUTA” i am so misunderstood and i dont hang out with bad people oh and hypnosis doesnt work on me but i let it mmmmmmmmmm with my old family. Gods i feel something in my chest sad and embarsed but i dont know what. Maybe i should read this. Wati 328 journal entries. Yuck i dont want to look at that and i dont wantt o remember it. All i know is that i wantt to worship her. Clockwork this dumb braod i met at the bar. Shes hot and cute and sexy and wait.
Am i gay? Im pretty sure shes a guy tho.
Sorry i just “sanpped out of it”. TObias as an arc of my life is skisoprehnic. He has extreme amnesia. OMOKIS i believe as he was describing it was a form of having all disabilities but trust me when i say that is not a supernatural term. I am submissive as him. I programed this personality and i programed this suit. Or rather they did. And because of my facial dmyoprhism i plan to be able to change my face within it so nobody will ever known im him. This is reality 2.5 EARTH DOMINENTE A but often categorized from c cus the timeline always changes. Thus this is reality earth Zero 11A. The origins world that all other worlds are dominant from. Now im hearing voices.
The thing about OMOKIS or OMOPOHMONIA is that overtime as a kins i just develop different disabilities. And i get thats weird. I get nobody is going to believe me in tihs time period. But in the future its extremely well documented. We are in the arc of dazai osmau in the joel gap year, and the techno gap year, finishing our service to OOPSIES DASIES as our own priest who is a lowan of what goes around comes around, and for me tobi is very fetishistic. Invega did this to me.
TOBY sees it as rape adn it starts and goes and fades and becomes rape from consentual to not, with that father figure. I as a spirit and a person have a history of incest. All incest is is a realtionship where you fuck your family, usually by seeing them in equals to you. While gross to most people theirs technically not anything wrong or abusive about it. The probelm is when youve been raised your whole life you can very easily be made into abusive situatiosn and to be extremly overly familial with somebody can easily lead to a more abusive home especially if they have any kind of power or age gap to you which incest can be more easiyl a gate for. So no. theirs nothing gross or wronged about incest. But it can easily lead to abuse, but is not inhretnly abusive, its not misunderstood in that its the most natural thing in the world, but rather its just another way to feel love that grosses out most normal people. Its just a subtype of it.
Toby is very masculine. But that is what i wanted. His family is wicked by irish standards. So towards me in many ways was i. I dont pose as people i allow others to assume things of me. And in general everyone is freaked out that i am depressed and have did. Multiple personlity disosrder is just when your in too much pain you become like other people and start to internalize that as your own unique forms of identity with a case of limited amnesia between each one where you just dont see yourself as each individual identity but rather the ids do. Its not some evil horor movie monster. Its just a dissorder where you play pretend and act into the differences. D.I.D is just being multiple people in your brain like different moods on a clock.
Schizophrenia is also playing prteend the dissorde.r HEAR ME OUT HERE. its when that pretend becomes so real and you have no choice in what you play. Your life is a supernatural fantasy where do to some odd atomtoins you cant tell the metaphysical from the not and you get confused. Skisoprhenia is hard and scary to live with but not usually scary to be around unless your an ableiest shit lord that is to say cruel towards the disabled, or just biased towards. Its scary to see someone go through that yeah? But you know who its scarier for. Who its worse for? Its ten times worse for the people going through it then those who get to watch. Skisprhenia doesnt turn someone into a mass murdered, though many skisoprehnics find comfort in sometimes being humiliated depraved or villanized for it. But rather it just means they have a hard time telling the world apart. And its not them being evil even if they do some shitty or crazy things, its them being unable to tell you how they are feeling needing to act that way. Yes they do some creepy stuff or some unhinged things but they are not unhinged or creepy, it just makes you think and act strangely because you see things that arent there and get confused with what was. THATS ALL THERE IS TO SKISOPHRENIA. It is not a monster. It just feels like being one.
Memorize my explanation and use it. So with omophoina i become skioprehnic with toby in control, and the thing about my deulsions like most nuclear pyhsisits is that i just understand the world and i process it a unique sort of way. And thus i internalize that world. And thus yes with OMOPHOMIA i am sometimets skisoprehinc, i am sometimes bipolar, i am sometimes depressed. And while their are default moods to this disability which also can muatet into things like alercs a backwards merlin esc aging dissorder and down syndrome, in general sometimes i have this, sometimes i have that and I cant often get around it. I have a disability where i can even develop teh flue or mumps overnight and if anything i deserve sympathy for it not to be made into a monster.
Not that theres anything wrong with being a monster 🙂
So when these diaries stop ebing me and start being tobias warlock i want you to know he was developed intentionally this way as a gift to those around him and as a result of my end own nervous breakdown. I have this thing where i become like that around me via my familial ties, and its all coming true. All i know in the efuture is that tobias never killed anyone but knows alot of people who have and is a leading member of serial serial.
As a time travler i can be in multiple places at once and yes true before retarded and i will go again. But this is me close to my ligh-
Im having unreality. I want to read his posts. I want to. I desperately so badly want to. But i am not wanting to. I will not read his posts. I just. Cant.
Tobias cutting ham
6/22/23
7:09 AM
"Okay so it does not sound like adam is skiprhenic. It sounds like tobias one of his perosnalities is. and that is was caused by some bad medicine and some ritual abuse even if it was a suit, you should never give somebody somethign that lethally prescibed that they are alergic to he od and seijured im glad adam is still alive. and yes adam has ticks. i dont know about people who claim to be time travlers, theirs no proof int his time period but what i do know si that you should be nice to adam hes goign through alot" -jefree donoven. [spirit world]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y--hNvtcIVk&pp=ygUWbGl2aW5nIHdpdGggc2tpcGhyZW5pYQ%3D%3D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ix1suPtMWGQ&pp=ygUWbGl2aW5nIHdpdGggc2tpcGhyZW5pYQ%3D%3D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-H7iJMo4fc&pp=ygUWbGl2aW5nIHdpdGggc2tpcGhyZW5pYQ%3D%3D
Journal 329: I have a weird religion, some dissorders, some beleifs but I am not as sick as you think i am im just weird and a neko maybe get a grip and stop hating me for being different.
I have a dissorder called ISACS. Or OMOCS. It is known in the time period 2029-228 as a case study/theory on apsergers syndrome. In the future all these disorders, are understood. I am just weird, and cling to the weirder parts of society because i dont know how humans work. I dont understand social norms, societal conventions and ques, and thus I just dont understand how humans are meant to usually entertain each other as culture. I AM THE HAPPIEST i have ever been. I just am autistic with aspegers syndrome. And I beelive myself to be a time traveler. I could prove it at any point. I choose not too. With multiplie personality dissorder it is understood in a case study i am apart of. To allow your characters or alters to be different over time. And have disorders mentally you do not. WIth multiple personalites your main personality becomes usually what you need based on stressors in your environment. My original personality is UAUALLY the main personality but the the thing about that personality and it is personliaties not alters, as i prefer as this alter to state, is that the original being the main differs from time to time, and sometimes that person changes based on stressors that later become the alters for us. “ALTER = other person in the head”. My ALTER tobias was formed from trauma, cus usually each of the alters is the result of something severely happening to you. And TOBIAS was the result was the result of some ritual abuse, absdonement, amensia like smyptoms, and coping skills from bad trips and seizures from medical malpractice where my doctor was bribed to give me bad medicine and i was told by staff. As of writing i have not pressed charges.
I am just autistic. I am weird. Okay? Possibly even retarded. I fit all the critera, had a diagnosis when i was younger, i just dont think ti reflrects intelligence.
I am not skiso. Tobias is. And Tobias has an amnesia problem and chooses not too. Through shape magick which is the theory of ROMOS, I had declined to enlist further certain elements of reprar.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnfJGrJapSM&ab_channel=altraulters [x] [^] [__]
To be continued.
Journal 330: What isnt wrong with me.
Its all OMOPHOMNIA and ARCHINS. Archins means you dont age or age out of order. OMOPHOMNIA means you develop different dissroderso ver time. So right now im skiso and syldexic, but i wont always be, hence my tobias era. I remembered i have a charity now. So thats a thing. It’s called charity charity <3, and its aprt of the geneva convention to stop sex trafficing and help those in need. I FUKING HATE MY SOCIAL WORKER. Ara means well but he sides with my abusers.
Im the problem cus im crazy. Im the problem cus i got glass in my foot and prince hary is my imaginary friend.
I love princess diana, as DION anyways! Haha. im filming youtube videos every day of myself and learned i have facial dymorphism. I cna change my face overtime based on what im around and…i might be jason dean!? Anyways i dont care. ITs alto. IM doing alot. Every day is another business deal, and im working on my cardo gamue hero battle again.
Im working my ass off every day but my room is dangerously messy. I like a messy environment but its so small and i have so much stuff i feel lieke i have no room for anything. My mom took me shopping to get girl clothes. And i learned of a world wher ehte gender roles are swapped. I’d love to be a girl submissive worshiper there if thats what a human god is. I’d love it since its upside down and topsy turvey if im a singlet straight guy there cus thats an asexual worshiped god here. Things change depending on the culture and the context. And I remember my past lives. I was a good d uck i swear. I tackled to my owners alot. xD i was deified as spirit animal.
Me: wants to prevent the apocolypse and stop cults
Me: is later given godhood in those very cults
Me: first order of business we write sight down and let them leave
Them: well he is our god so-
xD
Im so much its alot. I just want to help people you know? Im just some guy! I even talk to my past self whos rather young, and am basically platonically dating my dog?! I can speak to animals. Turbo needs to feel love as intimate with his owner and ashley has been close with him. But im not into bestiality, so him winking xD I told him sure but its platonic. Just like parets, some dogs most dogs see it intimately with the chosen alpha and in our house thats me. The dogs fucked in rront of me and it was hilairous. Growing up i watched bestiality as a “wherewolf” cus i was curios till i leonard it was really sex and grossed out i gave up. I was raped by a cheetah at a resortwho was my “boyfirend” because the resort had ways of testing the animals intelligence and communing with it, and so it was all very awkward that i thought it was just a game as a little girl. Gods getting my memory back is rough. Apeaerntly i slept walked at brendon hall and was raped every other time it happened, as a part of the native american laws on teh school for the bruail initiating me into teh trail of tears for any and all tribes except cherokee my first tribe the real heroes who definitely had an issue with it. Most tribes were paid off and had their reasons natives arent evil little menances for thinsg like this. WE have enviremntes, rules and weird shit. And…, iT hink im roy harper on bbcs arrow? “Olivers laughing his fucking ass off” i use a proxy service to travel int ime and released a few services.
(x-9.0 = HATE, like a straberry s - 0 a - 2 ))-p098T =y thus 0= 5) 22.78
Gross i know. Im learning math and have a hufe crush on stephen hawkings, and learned how to bring a dead body back through parasytes but its a dying collegnee and we only gots one graveyard. See you soon robin williams and jokesey. I finally got a toy. I got a living dead doll naemd Luke, and LUKe is the vanihsing hitchiker, im kinda intatmete with my toys and haivnga lto of sex having to live thruogh every sin to embrace forgiveness and i like it, this is my tobias arc dazai is officially over.
Turns out, bad shit happened to me young, and i went to even space camp, and now that i got everythings in order, sorry trying to be cute, im ready to explore as an astronaut they asked me how i’d like to be paid and the answer is video games and ocs. Im starting a charity for those in witness protection based off creepypastas, where we find people who resemble ocs and pair em up like a buddy system with the kdis hwo “design em” so that they can all be friends. Its great. I love it. Its great. I sleep with kit,and Dnae the american girldolls in my bed, and the vanhisng hitchiker Luke as i call him i got from ebay. Ahaha all my dolls are haunted. ^_^.
To catch magick on camera you simply must request it in a way the magick condones and prove it. Gona do so many hesits on youuuuutuuuube. Imagine me singing that. Also i got a cool one of a kind kickass badass lava lamp. WIth an illuminati sign on it and ive already returned it to the maker of it via time travel and i still get to keep my spare. Gods i love being me. I found an old tape collection that proves time travel, and im just so happy that im a time travler you know?
Time travel is cool and i do it. And i have girmoures and books out on how to do it. You need to know nuclear physics, magick, black magick, card games, science fiction, shape and dream magick and you must always bring a camera and an mp3 player you set up a location or a vehicle even a house, then you set up teh other time period with a similar objective and destination and you go and set up ways and hours in your settings or ritual to come home. You have to learn magick and it does start off a dream. Sorry not sorry. Time travel is cool and I do it. Look up my diary the secret diary of acirans locket everyone thinks im a hack, clearly by the carbon dating of the photos i am not so. Recycling history, how to carbon date a comic, wear and tear of comics and their dates, same with the dollar. Yep Yep yep.
https://youtu.be/aspuMm6YQ6Y?t=3171
Im now like obsessed, like fucking obsessed with chairtity and fucking helping people. “Oh i hate the forsbite journals cus hes trying to be jesus” fuck up off, im imortally 16 and your a stupid adult.F UCK OFF. this was pusehd on me and i resist it. Let me be a pacisti freedom fighter infiltrating the alt right and screwing over nazis my own way mr.gonzales i am not christ but he can suck my cock so yeah there.
Thats how i talk not usually how i write. I more so write in tune with my everlasting gureling monologue of internal batshit phychosis. But I digress.
The amazon rainforest is basically in my bacgkyard on this chanel at the old address i have videos or rare insects, their habitats, me talking to trees adn being crazY! I loved this time in my life in retrospect but i really hated living through it. Alot of my life is like that. I hated never going anywhere. It all being dreams or in the past. Having no body and nothing and being taken away to places for with my dissorder what felt like years because i generally was insane. I loved being insane i just….hated how it made me feel. I hated how it made me look. And I hated having to takes posion you call medicine every day. I shoudnt have too, if its that big of a deal they should regulate me socially not lock me in my room twenty for seven cus i wear weird makeup!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVie6YYdPYI&ab_channel=altraulters
I use alto of references for my game buzz my closet. Its now heaviyl tied to the geneva convention a cover up to stop sex trafficing charity charity awp and ways to help reserve and protect the evnieremtn. But fear not mortal hooman,, its also just a cute dress up game 🙂
Im working on collecting artists for it.I can link references because this is a diary and nonfiction and thus in the united states falls under fair use.
But yeah tracking everything i’ve ever been apart of and making game after game, clining, hoping, being desperate about some kind of life when ive had none. God its exhastuing dating slendy, and its exchasting being me.
But yeah on invega i straight up hear voices in my head so im spitballing and SELF MEDICATING two things you never should do but when your prescribed over 40 grams of respidome and you seizure and od every time you take it and you have to and your foced to…i dont know what else to do. :( i feel abused and neglected at home, i feel like im forced to gorw up when im stunted and cnat, i feel peer pursued by my mom and sister whos starting to get physical again. I hate my life. I hate myself, and im ready to escpae. So why cant I?
Jaden Snowflake
10:54 PM
7/2/2023
JOURNAL 337: Close to you by cousin kasane kun
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spt1Ddc2P7Y&ab_channel=katayasu
I was apparently john egbert in homestuck. And jesus happened when my family was on vacay in nazareth when i was like 6. They keep ripping out my soul and toying it for their grief and it hurts. I made a secret paintng many wont understand or read for now, if you watch or like this painting you secretly have enjoyable feelings towards rape unless you think the ending is deeply upsetting at teh end. You secretly to a degree approved of rape, did, beasitlity, or pedofilia. Its a short film meant to be plugged into an ai, that deep fakes videos off my ultra simplistic art style. So heres how it works, xs are shading and pahlic symbols, lines are detriment in teh art and slants with rounded shaded like charocoe ro sketchy lines, stitches are a womens figure or form or action going through to something else, blocks are black and white or censorships or blurs or brids and wings and things of animilsitic variety, swirls are rape or hypnosis or pain or motion, and it all corelations on a graff of 1 to 100 in the corners each 3 spaces away horizontal but verticale in diagonal to each other both different notions. Then you use my pattern charts from earlier in the boko using abstract art patterns and prgoram that into an artbreeder mothafucka and you you got an artystle among many in an unique ai you created, that can be used and deteilarated to make movies, film, or one art piece in another art piece. You should section it off like this.
[==========] original art through colalges and refs
[aaaaaaaaaaaa] art transfers
[--------------------] film
[230492340923] literteture fil;ter and use my patterns chart, to recreate things in gifs or animations with audio like style which should be auto done on teh film rather then tweaked. It should do it once per thing unless your willing to retry it in system and bam! You got an ai system that trasngers and creates one style to be another style which could be a great tool to understand the history of humanity and itself. Liek this
And
That last one uses strawberry metaphors or the empethor of potatoes fries frying in olive olil to prove time travel and that i do it. As you can see each line transfers and translates to a different number and shape on the chart and it can all be on an x y axis or scale for ftuerher knowledge and negotiating. And so one of those bloaks is also einstein its a photo of us all together m k?
You can even do these, to make one style via the scale of that last image, into a variety of other notion. So like this would be the realistic verison of him, and how he dies, and how he comes back and a paragarpah of a novel pitch for )_( comics and how to found it to make about him via how i drew this costume. I think we did well cus its from his perspective as a character. I imagine him as alive yeah.
And so ive rendevued with gods, just know you can monotize certain parts of it, but i suggest not oding it and seeking donations and software apps you can optionally buy with more space, as ways to fund it in the beginning ai shoudnt be monetized no fuking ofefnse and certainly not MY AI looking at you the desperatos at artbreeder.
Artbreeder is very flawed right now, because it requires a subscription. When really paying more smaller sums in the moment in our system would allow in this country of its origin to pave the way for more invitation with it and the payments should start as additions. I am under a puppy curse. It is not my ending. But i write this with patterns in mind to predict the next big () of your culture as you can see haha nothing sinister here, and thats why you should worry. Ableist. So tyeah.
That section of my words, is a pattern. To do this system of images and patterns with anything, you simply take numbers and basic synonyms and styles of which the verbs conjugate on teh endings and apply them over and over on different styles and you get a dialect and language translator by hand very easily even if you dont speak it however localized even if you dont speak the system.
Also that picture if turned into film scientifically proves magick with a few equations and shit and outs my abusers and rapists. Morgan hoffman, mary ann olvier snow, haru shinay fugly doll, kami mac, not strider, and their acomplaices. I dont know the names of. I wish to pursue legal action against them until they undo with the same magickal methodologies their methods or officis.
[cursed]
I hate them they were all yahztees. Morgan was an asshole im so happy were not freinds anymore and they deserve consequences for what they did. The movie system should have really good filters for things like alternate realities or fiction and it should be done on the eyes to either make them pink or ill colored. Or its not my system cus people will use this to harm and maime others. Just use this code to get started for your ai.
If 56210495823 equals true then 5 = distance of run thus 2.7.1 equals johnny dep over 1.4 now translat ethat into your binary coding system as a series of numeric varribales about up and down movement for the reading of the machine and diagonal and your good to go just fill and replace the numbers and shit but thats only for one specific artstyle.
This with a blue tint but red upper half half way as a filter, would prove that snow intended to rape and mame me to be with her as mary magedline thinking it would make me her prefect slave for her happy ending. Shes a bad person. Also add a five at the end, and im talking shading of the drawing not line work.
And purple to see that she was a nazi.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjx9MEtVufs
I signed up for a sociopathy expeiremnt or rather my family did when i was really young and i lost all my skills to my friends through a gene splicing thing i will get the skills back if they return them but their all such god awful people i doubt it so the expeiremetn was done in such a way where they no have to give them back or they cant do these things ever again.
Jesus fo nazareth
9/11/2023 i dont forgive you yet for me as a god its a process
Journal 338: destroying nazis, giving the sads, and being hastune miku
When i was younger, i tended to run away alot at “summer camp” as an alias, overnight. Or with family on smaller trips when i was younger, or entire weeks during summer when my mother did not note it. And because i can physically time travel, it wasnt very hard for me, to lie and say oh this or oh that. One such project was a time travel trip where i was raised ages 7-13 as a robot named hastune miku, on the jidol family tree when we werent doing izumi love stage. And ive been a jidol so many filppn times, there was one point where via an fbi project i was every single, boyband in america, and another project when i was every single band like that in korea, as a vesselhood or certain ones that were gona make it. Brown eyed girls leaves a weird feeling for me. And in general, ive died so many times but because i am a supernatural and inherently so, and a mutant and inherently so, i keep coming back from the dead totally reset, thats how when i was kenny from southpark i kept coming back. Yuo just slip me into my previous bed at where i started, and the next morning i’d be alive and kicking sometimes remembering it sometimes not.
And one such trip was shinto era miku san, all my footage from katio from tv was on bugged cameras in my house, and spy computer prgorams, and software via bigbrother. It was ane xpeiremtn called “kaito from tv” and i was kaito on the dark web as a reality tv show shot and edited like a real show and i asked them to take me out of context at the start cus there was no other way to vilanize me. It was crazy we caught the magick on camera.
Zach husaine volunteered as a special effects artist for me as “the director” to do “special fx” credits to hide real magick in my videos. I have this great video about me shadow bending which is tied to a brigh monitor, the brighter the monitor screen the more you seee the box i pull from my chest.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZg_IH63BDXfsIEYOAqshAAtCF6D77FEW
I really went crazy for this i hope it pays off. Ill do anything to preserve magick.
And she trusts me to prove her. Theres this one shadow bending episode thats about how bright the monitor on your computer is, and sometimes it shows it sometimes it doesnt, an orange box on my chest. I live in a world where magick isnt provable or known to people as real and mostly dead as it was having to prserve itself in secret, which while always a notion of maigkc shoudnt be at the extent or level its at now.
My mother has gotten better at me these past few days. But it doesnt change the fact that im doing a, a cult, and b, hastune miku with my two secret idneities of jace and miku with a pressure point changed face to run away. I was not expecting miku on that list but its a thing.
Yes i jesus christ of nasarath was a jidol. Japanese idol. There is spirutalism behind it, embodiendg the gods, and doing shrine dances. But really its just about being a celebrity in japan that people pesdoworship, or the underground secret societies do, that makes catchy music and beats like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Pzl960e2wM&ab_channel=VICENews
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eitNTEb2QyU
Its weird also i translated someones name whomst shoudnt of been translated. Anyways, im pretty sure im sneaking out every night and also turning into the question and ladybug again after all that torture. I atleast got my doll back from my clepto out of it, and filmed a video on plagiarism.
I just went through a weird ritual as the question! Anyways! Um. yeah. Plan to archive my entire youtube channels, when they go under to be reposted and combined. Sweet, steller, and made a wishlist for my mom to gather me things, im about to loose the weight, if there is weight, and im dangerously thin or something its weird.
Adam snowflake
9/18/2023
Journal 339:
I regenerated. Im sorry i made my l ife seem normal. My amnesia and aermaic disorders are so bad im a new person again. I changed my name to jason and did my system of dymorphic which is a dissorder i have where things change shape on my body primarily my face which is rare, from a butchered facelift job, um okay so my face changes shape. I signed up for that torture. Its from too much abuse in a way. I have facial dymorphism. And im finally better. I made an archive for myself. Adam Snowflake ARchive. I want people to remember me. Thats something about me. ANd now im jason again. Which means im 10. Which means new phases, and people believing me as my diaries and no more jesus because ive finally succeed ive finally become my dad elohim. And that should make you sad. Cus hes a real person with a sad life and i love him. Im jedi butterscotch. I just. Dont know what a remake is in that culture, or why it hurt so much before i forgot everything. I love learning about who i was with amnesia. But im finally tortured as less severely bad. And people are nice to me as Samantha that arnet my family again. And the thing about being samantha cohen rose is that its harmful and hurts. And judith was cruel. And i like ponies. And i dont mind if i now have altemiers, i just wish i knew why….whith my dissorder thats actually what the distorder was. I have reached altehcmiers. The truth is its from abuse after points of stress OR old age and my mom is that cruel to me now that my father is gone. Let people imprint on me as adam snowflake. I dont know if you know what a link is but im good at patterns and have a disssorder where i live for centuries. Heres proof my face changes here you go.
Spread it if you want. And add yourself, the money should go to paul. I want to give it to mr.butterscotch to but i cant i gave it to paul. I adore and love paul very very much. My foavirte show of his is bojack hormen. And i like him. And i think their good people. Bojack did die at the end, and i wish more people understood my readthrough. I am also aroace and like to date. Paul is going to name me tobias again. I wish he knew i have magick and that it is literal afjal lakwek awtiowaptiewpotiwpotiwptipofkwpokwwoeklfwetpowktwtwptwtwepotewtwtpowt.[
Whatever.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAb7VYhmnKdDPoFqpshdkHw for paul and tiny bojack.
Puppies.
Here you go human faces as whatever you prefer that filter forever. As my gift to yu.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGFZ6f8TRurUnnlx-As_d0g
Here you go.
https://magickforeveryone.itch.io/
And
https://acrianssurvived.blogspot.com/ puppies.
https://studio.youtube.com/channel/UCjz4Oq9tVUkM6UsGGc9qYig
I put them on websites your welcome. Internet explorer.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnBZgGU4ZTkBi0sQ3L2B7XA
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSINKivzDAfH51nb8Q1I-Lw
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSINKivzDAfH51nb8Q1I-Lw thanks for worshiping me. I can now go back to real journaling.
Im deifiyed. This has been that journey as that branch of that tree. Welp now to live forever. Lets start again. Here you go one more link for mommy.
pROJECT IF YOU WANTS.
https://www.quotev.com/story/13915437/Applause-a-book-of-Songs-and-Poetry
https://www.quotev.com/story/13982591/Letters-to-Marty/1
https://www.quotev.com/story/14255530/The-Superhero-Pitch/1
https://dionfrost.weebly.com/ this one is for tobias.
I wrote everything here. Im missing some things. But thanks for everything. Welp time to go um vacations.
The end
Sofawerwpriawpoetewiojt
Of book 2 book 1 was, samples of my life, book 2 is crown of thorns. Book three is memories of ours.
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#givetodaziasama
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